


Depth

by cuddleslutloki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angry Loki (Marvel), Bath Sex, Bathing/Washing, Berserker Thor (Marvel), Bottom Loki (Marvel), Dark Thor (Marvel), Hand Jobs, Healing Sex, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), King Loki (Marvel), M/M, Murder, Mute Thor, Muzzles, Powerful Loki, Protective Loki (Marvel), Top Thor (Marvel), briefly, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 12:29:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17662670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddleslutloki/pseuds/cuddleslutloki
Summary: One moment destroyed their lives, but also offered a chance for them both to be reborn.





	Depth

**Author's Note:**

> self-edited, please pardon any mistakes.

The sky was so clear Loki wanted to stop to admire it. Buttery soft morning sunlight cut across the orchards to cast rays through the fog that rolled over the trees. Apples glistened gold and dripped dew into the lush grass. Birds sang out, perched on branches and hopping along the ground for food, a few of them lucky enough to peck at dropped fruit for their seeds. Loki had never felt small like this before, and he didn’t much mind it.

The moment was shattered as Thor shouldered past him and walked away backward with a wide smile on his face. “Are we adventuring or apple-gazing? Come on!”

Loki raised an eyebrow and flicked his finger, sending a dropped apple from the ground directly into Thor’s head. He only realized it was partially rotten when the mushy, off-color flesh began dripping down his brother’s face. Thor made a retching noise and began wiping his face off, cussing Loki out in three languages. Laughter spilled from Loki’s mouth as he took advantage of Thor’s distraction to run away.

Thor still caught him, wiping the ruined fruit into his hair.

“Oh, come on!” Loki shoved Thor off, then sighed and used a bit of seiðr to clean the mess out of his hair, then off of Thor when a very pointed look was sent his way.

Once they were clean Thor slung an arm around his shoulder and began walking them toward the forest next to the orchards. Loki felt comfortable in his brother’s embrace, warm. The trees here were old, their great trunks wide enough that he and Thor together wouldn’t be able to reach around. Maybe when they were men they would, but it didn’t seem likely. Whispers filtered down from their leaves, songs of Yggdrasil singing to him and guiding him down the path.

Wind blew through the trees and broke the canopy, allowing sunlight to dance across the ground and expose their shadows. Even though Asgard still considered them both boys Thor was already so massive. He’d surely grow into a beast even bigger than their father.

Thor hummed a little tune as they made their way to the base of the mountain, occasionally whispering lyrics just quiet enough not to distract Loki. It was nice, calm. These trips of theirs were always enjoyable, but he was really looking forward to this one, he’d never used this doorway before and it went to places neither he nor Thor had ever seen.

Soft, blue light shined in the distance between tree trunks. They stopped, both staring.

“Is that it?” Thor asked.

Loki nodded. “That's the door.”

They looked at each other and smiled, then ran side by side until they stood breathless before an opening not unlike the mouth of a cave. The light came from within and when Loki peered into it he saw the realms laid out before them.

Thor bumped their shoulders together. “Ready?”

Loki grinned and selected the correct path, then jumped in. Colors danced around, dimmer than the bifrost, tinged purple right before he landed hard on rocky ground.

Thor landed behind him and clapped him on back. “Where are we?”

Loki shrugged. “I'm not sure.”

Thor laughed. “Good, a real adventure then.”

Loki rolled his eyes. He knew exactly where they were; a remote former colony of Alfheim, long abandoned and fallen to chaos. Rumors abounded with tales of rare artifacts and mythic beasts that ran wild, all remnants of imports or new additions from smuggling. Even if nothing happened, which Loki very much doubted, he could easily spin up a wonderful yarn that would add to their growing reputations.

The ground where they landed was flat, with very little foliage or other structures. Long shadows crawled across the rock and dirt as the sun set in the distance. Hills bracketed them on all sides, the ground gray and desolate. Loki looked around with a frown on his lips. Something gnawed at him, a feeling deep in his gut that they weren’t where he’d meant to drop them. The portal had looked dim, which didn’t surprise him because nothing had the power of the bifrost, but the color at the end. The purple.

Loki’s heart stuttered and his breath locked in his chest. How foolish he’d been.

Thor made to take a step, having looked around and scoped the surroundings as Loki had, but Loki grabbed his arm and halted him.

“Brother,” Loki said slowly, peering out and finding illusion magic all around them, “we need to go back.”

Thor’s brows furrowed and he tilted his head. “We just got here.”

Loki took a slow, trembling breath. They weren’t alone. He could feel people all around them, an ambush nearly ready.

“We didn’t land in the right place, we need to leave. Now.” He pulled Thor’s arm and called for the portal.

It wouldn’t open.

Thor rolled his eyes. “I knew you were lying. You know where we are, of course you do.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Loki admitted, trying the portal again. Still no response. Would Heimdall even hear him?

Thor bristled next to him, but smiled. “Ah, I see. Fear not, Brother, what could possibly hope to face us that we together cannot defeat?”

Loki began weaving spells, hoping he had enough time to craft a suitable defense. “Quite a lot, actually.”

The spell was almost finished, just a few more beats of his heart—

“Loki!” Thor screamed, and a searing pain shot through his stomach.

He looked down and saw half a blade sticking out of his stomach. His blood wasn’t red. Why wasn’t his blood red? It was blue. Like a—

The world went black. He heard Thor screaming, he heard thunder, then he heard nothing.

Nothing for more minutes than he could count. Nothing and nothing and nothing as his spells did their work and preserved his life, healed his body, brought him back to consciousness.

Loki took a deep breath and coughed hard, wincing at a sharp pain in his abdomen. He opened his eyes and blinked against harsh sunlight. They weren’t back in Asgard, then. It had been late evening when they’d landed, but the sun was now high, maybe a little past midday.

His eyes adjusted and he saw a slack face laying in front of his. He scrambled back, but didn’t even move a foot away before his hand hit something cold and hard. A dead body, or rather another one. Loki stopped moving and looked around. Dozens and dozens of bodies littered the ground. Thor.

Heavy breathing approached from his back, heavier steps thudding against the ground. The illusion magic was gone, likely dispelled when its caster was killed, and now he could see that the land was lush. The hills were covered in forests and the sound of running water echoed out through the trees. They’d landed in a clearing filled with flowers, most of which were now destroyed or otherwise soaked in blood too many colors to count. In some places the colors mingled and just made a disgusting mess of brown.

Loki stood carefully and faced his brother, but froze as soon as he did. Thor was coated in blood. His golden hair was matted and dirty, and his face was so filthy that Loki couldn’t even tell if he was hurt. Only his eyes were clear, but they were wrong. They glowed.

Where was his hammer?

“Thor?” Loki tried, voice weak and scratchy.

Thor reached for him when they were within arms reach, and Loki reached back, grabbing his brother’s shoulders and searching him for injury with a quick bit of seiðr. Then Thor ripped his armor apart and began grabbing his chest and stomach.

“Thor!” Loki shoved at his brother, but Thor was immovable.

Why wasn’t he speaking?

“Thor what is wrong with you?” Loki grabbed his brother’s face and forced Thor to look at him. “No. No, no, no!”

Thor had fallen into a berserker state. But that was hours ago. Potentially days. The berserker’s rage was supposed to pass within minutes, no one survived it longer than that. Plenty of warriors had tried to harness the berserker state in long battles, determined to keep themselves empowered enough to hasten an end to brutal fighting, but all perished. Every last one perished. Thor was going to die if Loki couldn’t bring him out of it.

Thor kept feeling his belly, pressing on the bruised spot where the sword had run him through. His brother’s face fell to confusion, a frown on his lips, brows furrowed. “Safe?”

Loki nodded and smiled. “Yes! Yes, I’m safe, you saved me, and you protected me while my spells did their work. It’s over, Thor, I’m safe!”

Thor smiled, but the surge of energy in his blood wasn’t dimming. Loki traced the path of Thor’s power with his own and found the source, found Thor’s very spirit where it lay in his body. The berserker state was a deep, cold thing wrapped around Thor’s natural power, feeding off of it and into it in a cycle. They were entwined.

“Oh, gods.” He plucked string after string of the magic that bound the berserker power to Thor’s soul, but every string he cut mended itself just as quickly.

He wouldn’t be able to force Thor calm. Maybe the healers… but if they went back to Asgard there was no telling how Thor would react, or if he could even travel the bifrost in this state. There were too many unknowns and if it were anyone but Thor Loki would be fine to try, but this was his brother. His only brother.

Loki rested his forehead on Thor’s shoulder and swallowed down a wave of nausea. The bodies were well into rot. They couldn’t remain.

“Come on, brother, let’s go to the river and bathe. You need it.” Loki kept his voice calm, gentle, forced up the mask he always swore he’d never put up around Thor because if he showed the truth of his feelings he was going to break under their weight.

Heimdall would find them soon, or their father would, someone who could help. Loki just had to be patient and try to draw Thor back to himself.

He pulled Thor’s arm and began walking to the trees, glad that Thor didn’t resist him. Bodies were scattered all over the ground and Loki forced himself not to look at them, at the gore and the carnage wrought because he failed to land them properly. But it wasn’t really his fault, was it? These bandits attacked princes of Asgard, they’d have been executed anyway.

Loki caught sight of a man’s head torn in half, shattered bone splintering out from his ripped skin, his brains spilling out into the grass, covered in bugs. Scavengers began encroaching from beyond the trees as he and Thor left. They’d likely been kept at bay by Thor stalking around, a predator above all others. He reminded himself that someone nearly killed him. They attacked he and Thor both. They would have died either way.

The forest was peaceful, if dark from the thick canopy sitting lower than the forests to which he was accustomed. About half of the trees were covered in vines that bloomed with bright yellow flowers. Loki desperately wanted to stop and study them, he’d never seen them before, but he thought maybe they were cousins to a type of moon flower that grew in the royal gardens on Alfheim. If they were then they’d have incredible power and they would be useful to him, but he couldn't. Not when Thor was in such a state.

No birds sang in the trees, and Loki struggled to even hear any other animals aside from the sound of rushed scurrying as small game darted into their burrows. The river came nearer with every step, new plants sprouting up around the bases of the trees as they walked. Weeds that he recognized from books only, that didn’t grow in Asgard and had no substitutes in spellwork.

He ignored them and kept walking until they reached the edge of the river.

His armor and leathers hung loose around his shoulders, which unnerved him. Thor was always strong, but the power to destroy armor like this? Armor reinforced with magic? That was beyond any warrior Loki had ever met.

Loki scanned the area around them and found them alone. Unsurprising.

He undressed and dipped his toes in the river. Cold but not freezing, so it would work. Thor was looking at him, the glowing in his eyes still present, his energy still too high. Loki swallowed hard and removed Thor’s armor piece by piece with his hands. The breastplate came off, revealing the maille beneath, and Loki was taken aback by how brilliantly the metal links were polished. On Thor’s arms there was a clear line where Loki could see where Thor’s breastplate had lain, the splashes of blood stopping right at that border like it had been painted.

Thor kept watching, unmoving and silent.

Loki unclasped the maille, removed Thor’s vambraces and boots and breeches, all while waiting for his brother to do or say anything. But there was nothing.

He stood once he set aside the last of Thor’s clothing and looked at his brother’s face again, and gasped when he saw Thor smiling. Then Thor’s hands were on him, grabbing his hips, sliding back, groping him. Loki froze and pushed against Thor’s chest, then his hands slipped when he felt Thor’s cock nudging his hip.

“Thor, stop!” He pushed again, and this time Thor went, but he was frowning.

Loki held up one hand and took a slow breath to steady himself. “Just, just hold on, okay?”

He lowered his hand gently and waited a moment to see if Thor would move again, but he stayed where Loki had pushed him. His cock was flushed a deep red, thick and standing straight out from Thor’s pelvis, pointing at him as the head drooled precum from within Thor’s foreskin.

Loki wished he knew more about the berserker’s rage, but it never lasted long enough study, and it was impossible to induce artificially. He knew it could be brought about with enchanted weapons, but most commonly it was a natural occurrence. Bloodlines were involved, the power invoked with specific battle rituals. This was the first case of a spontaneous trance that he could recall. If it even was one. Maybe Thor was something else entirely.

Regardless, Loki knew one thing was true: the berserker’s rage reduced a warrior to the very base of who they were.

Whatever lay deepest in a warrior’s heart would be made bare, would be expressed without shame or reserve. Loki looked at Thor’s cock, then his face with that soft smile returned to it, and found Thor’s eyes still glowing. Maybe if he did this Thor would return to himself. Maybe the release of an orgasm would settle the power’s need and it would release him.

Loki stepped in close to Thor and kept his eyes on Thor’s face as he took a firm hold of his brother’s dick. Thor grunted and reached for his, but Loki batted his hand out of the way.

“No.” He hated that it felt like speaking to a dog, but Thor hadn’t given any indication that he was still in there anywhere.

Loki started slow, the heated drag of his skin against Thor’s the only thing he could feel. Thor’s face was still covered in filth, his beard and hair caked in it, the smell of it awful, but Loki couldn’t concern himself with it. He listened to Thor’s sighs and moans, moved his hand faster when Thor’s voice rose, when his hips began to thrust.

Thor grabbed his sides and he allowed it. The grip was easy, not as desperate as the first time. Loki looked down and realized at once it was a mistake, because now he couldn’t look away. Precum leaked out of the head of Thor’s cock steadily, dripping down to where Loki’s hand was to make everything slick. Heat bloomed in Loki’s belly and he felt his own cock begin to stir at the sight. He couldn’t stop it, didn’t even try. He’d always loved his brother so much.

He grabbed Thor’s dick with both hands and held them still for a moment, then licked his lips when Thor thrust into the channel provided and used him. His mind wanted to wander, to imagine what Thor might be hoping to fuck into when he did this, but he stopped himself. Not like this. If they were ever to have each other he couldn’t let it be like this.

Breathy, guttural sounds fell from Thor’s lips, his enjoyment made obvious, and Loki didn’t want to love it. He didn’t want to love the way the fat on Thor’s belly jiggled on every thrust, or the way Thor’s hands on his sides were so heavy and felt so right, the way Thor’s calluses dragged against his smooth skin.

But if this was Thor’s most basic desire, then he and Loki truly were brothers in every way.

Thor leaned in and nudged his forehead and Loki moved away as much as he could. “I’m not kissing you when your face is so dirty.”

Thor whined in response but backed off. Loki looked into his eyes and felt his stomach flip. They’d stopped glowing. He tightened his hands and bit his lip as Thor’s eyes slid shut and his head fell back. His cock jerked in Loki’s grip, hot cum splashing on Loki’s chest and stomach and dripping down his body. Every breath from Thor was a growl as he spent himself on Loki. A smile lifted Thor’s lips and Loki watched caked-on blood crack and flake off.

Eight heaving breaths passed before Thor looked at him again, his eyes clear, but hungry. Loki was still holding his brother’s cock as it went soft, terrified that if he moved it would ruin the progress. Thor hummed happily and leaned in to nuzzle his neck, no doubt smearing dirt onto his damp skin.

“Thor?” Loki whispered.

Thor bit his neck and reached down to his ass again, and Loki finally released his grip on Thor’s prick and shoved his brother back. Though his eyes were clear, Thor hadn’t left the trance. Loki felt for the magic that had hijacked Thor’s soul like a parasite, a living thing feeding off of him. It was still there, still tangled and as Loki explored the connection his stomach dropped.

He’d made it worse.

Pleasuring Thor had reinforced the bonds between his soul and the berserker spirit and stabilized them.

With every beat of Thor’s heart the threads of his soul and the magic attached to it became harder and harder to distinguish. Loki felt tears burns his eyes and blinked them back. If nothing else, at least now Thor wasn’t in immediate danger. If the bond was stable, then Thor could live, and Loki could find a way to fix him. Or someone could. Their mother, their father, the healers. He didn’t care.

Thor took a step toward him, a curious look in his eye that shattered Loki’s heart. The heat of his arousal was gone, his body soft. More blood flaked off of Thor’s face when he frowned and Loki only just managed not to flinch when Thor’s hand met his stomach. The bruise from his wound was already fading, which told him he’d been out at least a couple days before he came to.

The tears couldn’t be stopped now. Thor had been left alone in a place he didn’t know, unable to call for help, walking aimlessly through a field of bodies because he thought Loki was dead.

And now the changes couldn’t be undone. At least not here, not without supplies. They needed to go back to Asgard, but Loki paused at the thought. What would happen? How would Thor react?

Beyond that, Loki remembered the end of the blade sticking out of his belly. Why was his blood blue?

Thor pet the bruise again and then touched his face, but didn’t speak.

Loki sniffed hard and nodded toward the river. “We’re filthy. Go wash.”

Thor looked at the river, then back at Loki, he spared a moment to wipe Loki’s tears with his dirty thumbs and then jumped head first into the river.

—

A week passed and Thor remained as he was. The only word he’d said was that first word, the only. Safe. Other than that he was silent save for small noises that seemed almost involuntary. Loki didn’t touch him again, not like he had by the river, but he slept curled up in Thor’s arms every night, and every morning he woke just like this, with Thor’s nose pressed into his hair and Thor’s body wrapped around his so possessively. The warmth was almost overwhelming.

Loki focused on the heat, on the touch, and wondered how it was possible that he was Jotun. The lie had started since birth, clearly, but why? What was the point? If they went back to Asgard he would have to face that truth and he wasn’t ready just yet.

Thor growled and rolled his hips, pressed the thick swell of his cock against Loki’s ass. Loki relaxed and let Thor do the work. He hadn’t touched Thor in the last week, but he also hadn’t stopped Thor from taking pleasure.

Each time Thor used him the power wrapped around his soul became stronger, bonded so tight that was closer and closer to becoming truly irreversible; but it also made Thor stable for the day. He had tried only once to keep Thor from doing this, during the first night when they had both climbed out of the river after hours of swimming, and the tree Thor had blown to pieces with lightning had released enough wood as it exploded for Loki to make their shelter out of it with seiðr. It was barely more than a lean-to pieced together like a puzzle, the edges fitting well enough that there were no gaps but Loki could still see the lines where they met.

The longer they remained in the forest the more likely it was Thor would be stuck like this, but Loki had no other way to keep his brother from going feral and no desire to take them back to Asgard on his own.

Thor moaned and rut against him faster, breath trembling in Loki’s ear. He felt his body responding, felt a warmth rising in his chest. He wanted, too. Always. Since he’d known what this want was. But not here, not in the middle of the woods in a piecemeal bit of shelter and no way to protect himself if Thor didn’t want to stop when he did. There was no indication that Thor would ever stop needing to take pleasure from Loki’s body, and Loki knew he’d never want to stop him anyway. His need grew every time he felt the wet heat of Thor’s completion, made it more difficult to just lay there and let Thor pleasure himself. How long could he deny them both? Something would break eventually. Loki was betting it would be him.

Thor gasped and hugged him tight, and Loki’s eyes fluttered as he felt hot cum splash against his skin. He gasped when Thor kissed his head and nuzzled it. For a moment he was afraid to turn, but Thor didn’t give him the choice.

Loki found himself on his back with Thor crawling on top of him, something sharp in his eye that matched his grin. He kissed Loki’s cheek, then that little spark was gone and Thor’s stomach growled, signaling the end of their relaxation.

Thor wandered off, trotting naked through the grass to find some bit of game for breakfast. So far they’d eaten three types of rabbit, fish, and a rather large snake.

The hammer was still gone. Probably sitting abandoned in that clearing where they’d landed. Loki didn’t want to go back until they had to.

Sunlight glinted off the river’s surface and illuminated the inside of the little hut. Loki held his hand and watched the light dance across him. This wasn’t his skin, was it? It couldn’t have been. He closed his eyes and looked inward, tried to pull the thread that made him pink like any good Aesir and found it more easily than he’d have liked.

He pulled the hanging thread of the spell. Waited. Opened his eyes. Blue. He was blue. Loki wiggled his fingers and twirled his wrist. Nothing felt different. Everything felt like it always had, so the spells that had kept him hidden were only on the surface. Each memory he could recall where he’d bled all looked the same. Healthy, pure red. Vibrant in the violence of it.

Was he far enough away now that even Odin’s magic couldn’t follow him? The thought made a slight smile curl his lips. What a wonder.

Loki rolled out of the shelter and stood in the grass, felt cum drip down his thigh. He looked and saw it so clearly. Thick, milky white where Thor had used him to fulfillment.

Thor’s steps were heavy across the ground as he approached Loki’s back. A dull thud came next. A beast Thor had likely killed with his hands that they would be able to eat for the next few days from the sound. Loki looked over his shoulder and saw Thor studying him.

“Will you still protect me, Berserker? Or will you kill me like you promised when we were boys?” Loki met Thor’s eye and forced himself to stay in this form.

Thor walked up to him slowly, cautiously, and reached out with one hand until his fingertips brushed Loki’s shoulder. A little grin lifted his lips. The touch alone enough to satisfy whatever question Thor’s mind was capable of asking. Loki turned and faced Thor fully, shook his head when Thor looked at his cock and hummed happily. One track mind, at least that was still the same.

Light from the river played across their skin, rays of it flowing from Thor to Loki in a gentle shimmer.

He let the spell slip back, let the lie cover him, and did his now routine check of Thor’s power.

The bond was so tight that in some places he couldn’t tell if there was even a border.

Unless Heimdall brought them back in the next ten minutes, Thor would be forever changed if he wasn’t already.

Loki remained quiet. Didn’t call out to the gatekeeper or the Allfather. He didn’t do anything except walk over to the deer-like creature Thor had brought back to begin cleaning it.

If Loki was going to be forced to be something he was never meant to be, why not Thor as well?

—

For some reason Loki had imagined Thor wouldn’t want to wear clothing, but he was fine. Loki summoned garments for both of them and Thor didn’t even need to be told to dress himself. Almost a month had passed and he knew that any day now Asgard would come knocking and drag them back. They had to be dressed in that event.

They also needed Thor’s hammer.

The woods around the clearing didn’t smell awful, so either animals picked all the corpses clean, or other people came and cleaned them instead. He slipped through the trees carefully with Thor at his heels.

He was surprisingly stable, and he understood when Loki was speaking to him, but he’d still yet to say anything back. The magic was fully incorporated into Thor’s spirit now and Loki couldn’t conceive of any way to undo it, and he wasn’t sure if even the whole of Asgard could. Hopefully in spite of the rage Thor was still worthy of Mjolnir, because Loki knew he wouldn’t be.

Voices came from ahead and Thor lunged, but stopped as soon as Loki grabbed him. He looked back, his eyes glowing, and Loki shook his head.

“Wait,” he whispered.

Thor’s jaw bulged, but he didn’t move when Loki began walking toward the voices.

Nearly two dozen people were milling about, and there we no bodies to be seen. The grass was marked with dead spots where all the corpses had lain. A mottled hopscotch from one end of the clearing to the other. Heights within the group ranged from shorter than Loki to nearly half a body taller, and the thickest of the lot was built like a damn bilgesnipe. She’d be a problem.

Loki didn’t hide himself and within seconds he had their attention. No weapons yet, which was fortunate. He wasn’t sure how much restraint Thor had.

“Hello,” Loki began with a smile, “I’m looking for something, maybe one of you can help.”

One of the largest of the group turned, the beastly one Loki hadn’t wanted to speak with. She sneered down at him.

“Are you looking for the afterlife? I can make sure you see it if you don’t leave,” she growled.

Loki laughed and shook his head. “No, actually, I’m looking for a hammer. It’s rather heavy, I don’t imagine any of you could lift it.”

Murmurs broke out at the woman’s back and she whipped around sharply, staring at her companions until they fell to silence.

“Ah, so you’ve seen it.” Loki glanced over his shoulder and saw the glow of Thor’s eyes approaching quickly.

The woman shoved Loki back and opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t get the chance before a rather brutal blast of lightning fell on her. She dropped to the ground, her skin charred and burst open in spots so deep that he could see her bone splintered and exploded from within. Loki gaped at the sight, his heart rate picking up. What glorious power.

Thor came around him and stood in front of him, a living barrier against the mercenaries and pirates that now sought Loki’s head. Electricity rolled over his skin, each tendril following the paths of Thor’s veins. Loki wanted to study this, to dissect it and know how his brother worked. It would have to wait.

He took a breath and placed his hand on Thor’s back. “Kill them, brother.”

Thunder roared in the sky, and Loki heard Thor laugh before he did as he was asked. Loki hadn’t been awake the first time, he’d missed the show. Now he had the best seat in the house. Bodies flew, men tossed like ragdolls into trees that broke their spines upon impact. The whole clearing was resonant with screams and wet cracking sounds underneath the storm of Thor’s anger. A jaw bounced across the ground, torn away from its owner’s skull, the air filled with garbled screams as the person drowned in their own blood. Thor ripped another’s throat out with his teeth and Loki had to suppress his body’s reaction to it. This was because he asked. This power was his. His brother was his weapon.

Someone came running at Loki and lightning reached down from the sky and split him in half, garroting him and leaving him in two neatly bisected pieces. Loki didn’t even know Thor was capable of such a thing.

Nearly twenty trained pirates, very skilled fighters and ruthless survivors to be living on this planet, and they were all dead in under five minutes. Thor came out as bloody as the first time, his hair and beard dripping. Loki approached Thor’s back slowly, peering at his spirit.

Loki remembered studying Thor’s power when they were younger, still children who used to literally hide in their mother’s skirts. He’d been searching for all the ways they were different, because maybe if he’d found something in Thor that he lacked he could know why he was never, ever good enough. The answer was laughably clear now, but it didn’t matter anymore.

Thor’s power had looked like a storm living under his skin, swirling and cracking with electricity, golden in color underneath the silvery lightning. Loki looked at it now and saw endless red. Every strand of his power was coated in it, but the shape of his power was the same. To see it now, it didn’t look like he was infected by something, at least not that Loki could tell.

He cleared his throat and Thor turned to him and from within Loki saw a burst of brilliant white and blue radiating in a wave from Thor’s core.

“Oh,” he said, “so that’s what happened to you.”

Loki let Thor come to him and gently cleaned his brother with a few touches of magic that Thor accepted easily. He understood now as he watched the bright peace that settled into Thor and calmed him by degrees. When Loki had been stabbed, when he’d nearly died, Thor’s emotions must have fallen to such chaos that he lost all control. Not rage, but grief had taken him over, a different source than a normal berserker trance. Which also explained why it hadn’t ended once the battle was done. The trigger had not been removed. Loki’s body had been laying on the ground for days while his spells revived him. Thor couldn’t calm down because he didn’t know Loki was alive, and he likely hadn’t been capable of concentrating enough to sense the magic working.

So his grief consumed him, and a new type of magic was born inside him. Loki was certain now that he had been wrong before. This wasn’t an external power turned parasitic, it was Thor’s own power transformed. There would be no restoring Thor to what he was before. Not with how much the changes had stabilized and become normal. Trying would probably kill him.

“Thor,” Loki said, prompting a new wave of that gorgeous blue light to radiate under his brother’s skin, “call Mjolnir.”

Thor smiled and lifted his hand, and within seconds it flew through the air and into his grip. Proof, then, that Loki was right. Everything inside there was Thor.

—

Loki looked up at the sky as a portal opened. The Bifrost. Heimdall’s eyes were on them. He grabbed Thor’s arm and braced. It only took them six weeks this time, less than half the time he and Thor were normally gone. Someone knew something wasn’t right.

Light crashed down on them and ripped them from the ground, hauled them forcibly back to the golden walls of their home. They landed in the observatory with Heimdall, their father, and their mother standing in front of them, and behind them stood at least twenty of the most elite Einherjar. Loki shook his head, but Odin still gestured for the soldiers to come forward.

“Don’t,” Loki pleaded, “he’s not stable!”

Thor reacted as Loki thought he might. The panic in his voice brought lightning to his brother’s skin. Their mother moved forward and Loki found his panic was no longer faked.

“Stay back!” He screamed.

She stopped and looked at him with a furrowed brow and a frown, her head tilted. Next she looked at Thor, Loki could feel her seiðr peering into Thor, searching him as Loki had been.

“Gods, no!” Tears began filling her eyes, her hand went to her mouth. Loki felt only the smallest bit of guilt over it. This wasn’t his fault.

A guard grabbed Loki by the wrist and Thor grabbed the guard’s arm.

Loki reached for his brother, tried to stop him, then the guard tried to separate them and Thor’s temper became beyond Loki’s control, eyes flashing white. Loki saw blood before he heard the scream.

Two more guard rushed forward, urged by a barked command from Odin. Loki sneered. That old fool was going to cause a massacre. Loki didn’t need to become king right now.

Lightning wrapped around the guards that were dragging Loki away and sliced them to pieces. He fell to the floor as their corpses dropped him and gagged at the smell of burning flesh. The thunder was contained in the walls of the observatory, the sound so piercing Loki thought his eardrums were going to burst. He forced himself to his feet and ran to his brother right as three more guards died. A pile of bodies was laying at Thor’s feet, an ever-expanding pool of blood leaking out from it. Loki climbed over the bodies and put himself between Thor and the Einherjar, the remaining four looking hesitant to move forward.

“Listen to me!” Loki’s voice sounded muffled to his own ears, even though he was screaming. “You cannot separate us, if we’re to take him to healers then I have to take him.”

He stared into his mother’s eyes, and slowly everyone else turned to her, Odin included. She nodded, tears flowing freely down her face.

Loki took a breath and waited until all swords and spears were away before turning to Thor. He laid a hand on his brother’s chest. Blood dripped down Thor’s face and Loki realized Thor hadn’t even used his hammer, it wasn’t in his blood-soaked hands, it was secured at his belt. Gods, but his power was incredible.

“Thor, brother, hey, look at me.” He couldn’t hear himself as he spoke, but Thor did as asked. “Good, follow me, alright?”

Thor looked over Loki’s head, but the light receded and left his normal eyes behind. Loki grabbed his forearm and pulled him along, fingers digging in to resist slipping in the carnage dripping down his skin. They walked slowly over the bodies, then past the guards. Thor was shaking and growling at the sight of their weapons. In the forest it had been easier to predict the consequences of Thor’s rage, but there was no telling what would happen now, and too many potential corpses were in the way for Loki to consider finding out.

Loki kept his hand on his brother as they went to the healers, and only pulled away once Thor was laying down in a bed. A crystal bottle was pressed to Thor’s lips, a draught with a slightly yellow tinge poured down his throat. Thor swallowed it all, his eyes on Loki as he drank. The liquid was used to calm berserkers when the rage was ripping them apart. It wouldn’t work, Loki knew that, but they had to try. No one was going to listen to him.

Five seconds passed, then Thor’s eyes rolled into his head and he began seizing. A red light shone over his bed, the display above his body warning of organ failure. Loki watched, waited to see if Thor would throw the draught up.

Thor vomited a moment later and the nurses barely turned him in time to keep him for aspirating it. It was black and filled with chunks like curdled milk. He was throwing up blood. Loki waited another breath, then Thor threw up more blood. They were killing him.

Loki ran forward, only to feel himself restrained by someone else’s seiðr. He turned and saw Odin. A grim look sat on the Allfather’s face. He was prepared to kill his only son.

Loki turned back to the healers. “Stop!”

No one paid any mind. They were killing Thor and they just kept going.

Loki felt ice surge in his blood and he let it consume him until his skin turned blue. “I said stop!”

The magic that held him broke under his anger, and Loki used his own seiðr to shove everyone away from Thor. He ran to his brother and cradled Thor’s head in his hands as he began drawing the potion out of Thor’s body. His panic threatened to overwhelm him, but he forced himself to remain focused on the thick, malignant magic ripping Thor apart from the inside. Frost crawled on the floors and walls and coated everything as he worked.

The potion crawled out of Thor’s mouth at Loki’s will, the damage done in its wake repaired. Thor’s eyes rolled forward as the seizure stopped, and as soon as Loki pulled the last of the draught out of his system he threw up thick bile, but thankfully no blood. Loki healed every hemorrhage he could find, hands still blue, touch probably too cold, but Thor just closed his eyes and leaned into Loki, wrapped his arms around Loki’s hips where he stood next to the bed and hugged him tight.

No one spoke. No one moved until Loki turned his head to stare Odin down.

“You were going to let them kill him.” Not a question, a fact.

Odin’s lips were a thin line, his gaze hard. “This state will kill him. He’ll die either way.”

Loki ground his teeth. “He’s fine now, he’s stable where just seconds ago he was throwing up blood and seizing.”

“And not ten minutes ago he was ripping the Einherjar that he trains with to pieces! His shield brothers, Loki!” Odin voice cracked through the room, and Loki could feel Thor reacting to it, his hold going tighter, his damaged spirit rising.

Loki tangled his fingers in Thor’s hair. “I will not let you murder my brother.”

Frigga cleared her throat and motioned for everyone to leave the room. The silence was so thick it rang in his ears. He rubbed Thor’s scalp and didn’t know if it was more soothing for himself or for Thor. The contrast of Thor’s glittering blond against the dusky blue of his skin was striking.

The door clicked shut, the lock turned, and Frigga sighed heavily. She faced them and looked at Thor, at the way he clung to Loki like an overly frightened child.

“What happened, my son?” She clasped her hands in front of her and began fidgeting with her rings.

Loki held up his hand with his true color and the raised marks that ran all across his body. “Am I your son?”

Odin grunted at him. “You said Thor is your brother, does that not make her your mother as much as his?”

Loki dropped his hand and didn’t look at Odin, he kept his eyes trained on one of the only people who’d ever shown him kindness.

“We followed a crack in the mountain, something we’ve done a hundred times, but I think the route has been tampered with. I meant to take us to Vanaheim for a hunting trip, but we didn’t land anywhere near Vanaheim. I don’t know where we were—”

“One of Alfheim's abandoned colonies,” Odin cut in, then waved a hand for him to continue.

Loki cleared his throat. “Ah, well that explains it. We landed wrong, and I tried to open the portal to take us back but it wouldn’t open. Next thing I knew there was a sword through my belly and Thor was screaming. I have spells, just like you taught me, mother, and they worked, but I think they took much longer than anticipated.”

He looked at Thor and realized his brother was asleep. It wasn’t surprising, even with Loki’s help he needed to rest so he could fully heal after the effects of the potion. Loki checked his spirit and saw it frayed near the edges, but mending. The magic was designed to extract berserker rage, not untangle the soul of a god.

Odin sighed, his shoulders sagged and he shook his head. “How long do you think it took?”

Loki shrugged. “I’m not sure. They nearly killed me, the spells weren’t created to heal something so severe, and definitely not in a timely manner. I woke surrounded by bodies. Thor hasn’t said anything to me. That was three days ago.”

Frigga gasped. “Three days? Loki you were gone six weeks!”

Loki pulled his best pained face. “I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid if I brought him back he would kill people, which is exactly what happened.”

He smoothed Thor’s hair down and picked a piece of flesh out of it.

Odin grumbled, an old, cranky sound Loki knew well. “We can’t leave him like this.”

Loki swallowed and hoped his gamble would work. “I’ll take care of him, at least until we find a way to bring him back.”

There was nothing to bring back, but no one else needed to know that. Let them try. Let them live in the lie and believe something, hope on it, count and bet on it, only to have it ripped out from under them.

He met Odin’s eye and allowed the illusion to cover his true form. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Odin nodded. “Eventually. I'd planned to unite our two realms, to bring about true peace.”

Loki raised an eyebrow and grit his teeth to keep from screaming. “Unite? Whose son am I, then, if I could be used in such a way?”

“Laufeyson,” Odin replied.

As much as Odin tried to hide what he felt it still seeped through. The clench of his jaw and the strain in his voice, his hands clenching. Shame. Remarkable, unbelievable. Loki looked back at Thor so he wouldn’t do something stupid. That was the first trick Loki ever learned, to read the unreadable and decipher hidden motivations from the man he called father. His skill had failed him in the end, because he'd never have guessed this.

Frigga made a noise to catch his attention and stepped between him and Odin. “We can discuss this later. For now, we need to take precautions.”

She looked at Thor as he slept. His arms were still tight around Loki, unyielding even when he wasn't awake.

“Precautions?” Loki asked.

She nodded and pulled a muzzle out of the ether. Loki had seen them in paintings, ancient stories about possessed beasts that wore the faces of men. Bands of cold steel were woven in knots, each individual piece of metal engraved with runes. He hadn’t realized these devices existed anymore, made in a time when even the frost giants were young.

Frigga took a step forward and unlatched the chains that would secure the muzzle to Thor's face. “Wake him up.”

Loki tapped Thor's shoulder. ”Thor.”

His eyes snapped open and his entire body tensed, then relaxed just as quickly. He sat up and pressed his head to Loki's shoulder.

Frigga took a step toward them, but lightning crackled on Thor's skin and she stopped.

Loki held his hand out. “Let me.”

She carefully handed him the muzzle and retreated. If Thor was still aware in there, if he was conscious after what the potion did to him, then he'd hate himself for making their mother fear him.

Loki turned to Thor and frowned, then lifted the steel to Thor's face. He was going to remove it as soon as he was alone with Thor anyway. It was just to make everyone else feel better.

Thor didn't move as Loki muzzled him. It felt wrong that this should be the moment where Loki was shown the depth of his brother's trust. Of all the things to do, Thor smiled as the metal covered his face.

Loki secured the clasp and pulled his hands away, only for it to come back open and fall right off and into Thor’s lap.

“That's impossible,” Odin said.

Loki picked the muzzle up and took a closer look at the runes, barely suppressing his grin. It wouldn't work. The magic forged into the metal was only meant to restrain berserkers who lost control, ones who were unstable and mindless as animals. Thor was none of those things, so none of the magic in any of Asgard's books or vaults would work.

The only thing capable of controlling Thor was Loki.

Loki turned and handed the muzzle back to Frigga, pointing out the piece of spell he'd just read. She stared and stared, then looked at Thor. In all his centuries of life Loki had never seen their mother truly terrified.

Behind her Odin took slow steps, only coming close enough to pull her back. He stood in front of her, a wary look in his eye.

“Do you think you can control him, Loki? Until we find another way?” Odin asked.

Loki nodded. “Of course.”

“Keep him confined to your room. If you need anything ask a guard or a maid, and don't let your brother out of your sight.” Odin looked at the hammer at Thor's hip, still secure despite everything. “He can still lift Mjolnir?”

“He can.”

Odin let out a heavy breath. “Then there may be hope.”

Loki gave a grim smile, then looked back to Thor and let the truth show for his brother’s gaze, his softness given freely. Thor's eyes were warm, same as always, filled with that bright love that Loki had known since before he could even speak.

He would be glad to watch them scramble and ultimately fail. There was nothing to fix.

—

Thor was pacing a hole in the carpet. He’d never been particularly calm, but he’d never paced before. Loki wanted to read now that he finally had time to catch up while they all waited for Thor to adjust, but it was impossible when his brother wouldn’t sit still.

Normally Thor would be training right now, but Loki couldn’t allow him to fight. He’d slaughter whoever they set in front of him.

He sighed and cleared his throat. Thor stopped walking and turned to him immediately, ready for whatever Loki wanted from him. They had to figure something out to keep Thor occupied and calm. They were ordered to stay in Loki’s rooms, so taking Thor hunting wasn’t an option. Neither was going for a ride, or really anything that Thor would normally love to do to unwind.

Loki thought back to all the times they’d shared when it was just them. They used to sneak in the library when they were young. Thor would charm the librarians while Loki snuck out with the books they weren’t supposed to read yet. Thor used to love resting his head in Loki’s lap while Loki read aloud. Entire days had been passed like that before Thor’s powers manifested.

A smile lifted Loki’s lips at the memory, and Thor smiled with him. Warm, gentle fondness filled his chest at the sight. This was a return, in many ways. They’d grown farther and farther apart over the last few decades. Loki could have his brother back, even if Thor was different, he was still Thor.

“Come here, brother, let me read to you,” Loki said, patting his thighs.

Thor looked at him a moment, then walked over and laid down on the couch with his head in Loki’s lap. He grinned and reached up to tug on a lock of Loki’s hair, just like he had when they were boys. Tears burned Loki’s eyes and he blinked them back. It had been almost a century since Thor had done something like that; since he’d expressed such easy affection. If he’d been frightened of his own desires, then Loki could understand why. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. No matter. There was no going back to those days.

Loki used magic to set the book in front of him in the air and began reading tales of Thor’s ancestors. They were exaggerated, of course, but they all spoke of the rage and power that lived in his blood. It was research as much as entertainment.

He played with Thor’s hair as he read, braiding it without looking, then taking the braids out. Thor turned and nuzzled his stomach. Loki laughed and looked into his brother’s eyes, and as he did his breath caught.

Thor’s eyes were clear, bright, they looked like they did that morning in the orchard.

“Thor?” Loki’s voice shook.

Thor hummed. “Brother.”

Tears filled Loki’s eyes, overflowing to drip down onto Thor’s face. “Thor, do you know what’s happened to you? Are you aware?”

Thor nodded and wiped Loki’s tears away. “I’m here.”

Loki cried and laughed, leaned into Thor’s touch as his brother cradled his face. He wasn’t sure how long this lucidity would last or when he’d have it again. Thor was still in there, just as Loki thought. More than that, he was aware, cognizant on some level of what was happening around him.

Loki hadn’t destroyed him by not calling for the bifrost as soon as he woke up.

Thor opened his mouth, then there was a knock at the door and Loki saw the spark in Thor’s eyes die as he slipped out of Loki’s reach. He closed his mouth and took a deep breath, but said nothing. Anger rose in Loki’s chest and he grit his teeth to stuff it back down. The people outside his door didn’t know, he told himself, they couldn’t have known or understood what they’d just broken.

Thor’s fingers brushed his cheek, his brows furrowed. He could tell Loki was upset. How much more he could read in his less lucid moments was a mystery that Loki hadn’t even had a chance at solving yet. He took a breath and flashed a smile to his brother before gently removing himself from the couch. Loki set the book aside and went into the receiving room, his wide double doors locked from the inside and guarded on the outside.

“Who comes?” His voice was even, cool.

Sif’s voice replied, muffled through the wood. “Myself and the Warriors Three. May we come in and see Thor?”

Loki ran his thumb over the back of his hand and mulled the idea over a moment. These were Thor’s friends. They loved him. If he didn’t let them in nasty rumors would start, nastier than the ones he was sure were already starting, and he didn’t need to be managing Thor and the rumor mill of Asgard at the same time right now.

“Enter,” he commanded, the wards dimming enough for the guards to open the doors and let Thor’s friends inside.

Thor was at his back when the first step echoed across the stone floor. He turned his head and smiled to his brother, but Thor wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were unblinking as they stared at his friends. The look in them wasn’t fond, it wasn’t anything like the way he looked at Loki. It was sharp, appraising. Like he didn’t even know them. Maybe this part of him didn’t.

Loki looked at the four of them, saw their expressions guarded and cautious. Everyone had surely heard what happened in the observatory by now, and he knew the Thor’s friends would have heard about how Loki’s skin turned in the healer’s room. They’d never minded him much, though it was mostly due to his status as Thor’s brother, but the look in Sif’s eyes now set him on edge. She’d never been hostile to him before.

Volstagg coughed and took a step forward, stopping short in the middle ground when Thor didn’t react kindly to him. His eyes flicked from Thor to Loki.

“Is Thor still in there?” He asked.

Loki shrugged. “I’m not sure. He hasn’t spoken, and he doesn’t respond to anyone.”

“Except you,” Sif said.

Loki frowned at her. “I beg your pardon?”

The three men with her turned, all opening their mouths, probably to tell her not to speak. That was one thing Loki actually liked about Sif, she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. He knew he wouldn’t like it here.

“The Einherjar are saying that Thor fought like an animal. That he was mindless as he ripped them apart and he only stopped at your word.” Sif took two slow steps forward, her eyes constantly checking Thor. “What have you done to him, trickster?”

Fandral and Hogun both took a step back and Volstagg cast his eyes to the ground. That was it, then. They thought Loki had cursed his own brother to be some mindless creature, to be a battle thrall. They thought Loki had woven some spell to break Thor apart and unmake him. Pain sang in Loki’s breast, as brutal as when he’d been stabbed. He knew he wasn’t trusted or well-liked, but he never thought they hated him this much. How foolish he’d been.

He was so angry he couldn’t even cry.

“How dare you!” He seethed, “how long have any of you known Thor? You’ve known him longest, Volstagg, isn’t that right?”

Volstagg briefly met Loki’s eye and nodded.

“And that’s been, what? Five-hundred years? A little less?” Loki asked.

“Yes, my Prince,” Volstagg answered.

Loki laughed, sharp and cruel. Oh, so he was a prince when they were in danger? How convenient.

“You four listen to me, and you listen well because I will not be repeating myself. I have known Thor my entire life. Nearly one-thousand years. Over twice as long as any of you! I love him more dearly and more deeply than you could imagine. He is my brother, and if you ever insinuate that I would harm him in this way again I will have you stripped of your titles by my power as your prince, and I will banish you to a work colony on Svartalfheim, do you understand?” Loki screamed at them by the end, trembling from his rage.

Thor made a noise and tried to move for Sif, but Loki put his arm across Thor’s chest and held his brother back. He restrained Thor and made sure to look each of his brother’s friends in the eyes as he did. They needed to learn this lesson fast and learn it well.

“Get out,” Loki growled.

They moved at once, scrambling for the door.

Sif paused before leaving, her brows drawn together and sadness in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Loki, I was wrong to accu—”

“Shut up and get out!” He yelled.

Thor’s hands pulled at Loki, and he turned before the door was even closed. He checked Thor’s eyes and saw white permeating the blue of his brother’s irises. His heart ached, Thor was so far now when he’d been so close. Loki pulled Thor back to the couch in the other room.

They settled in together and Loki read to his brother until the sun set and dinner was brought in by armed guards.

He wasn’t able to draw Thor back enough to speak.

Loki bathed with Thor after dinner and slipped into bed naked. Thor moved with him and pulled him close, held him tight but gentle. Peace began settling back into him, the upset from earlier beginning to fall away from his mind. No one would understand. They would all blame Loki for this, but Thor wouldn’t.

Thor loved him.

—

Odin’s voice echoed through the air, his despair evident. Thor bristled at hearing it, but didn’t move from Loki’s side on the balcony.

“These years have been longer than most for me, as I’ve held out hope, but it has become evident to me that hope alone will not suffice in this matter. It is with great sorrow that I announce that my son Thor, my first born, has fallen victim to an illness which has rendered him unable to take the throne. In his incapacitation over the last five years his brother Loki has shown great compassion and wisdom, and has proven himself as a true son of Asgard. Though we mourn, let us also celebrate our crown prince, and pray for his good fortune into the future!” Odin raised Gungnir high and brought it down with a great, echoing crash.

It was done. Loki was the new crown prince, heir to the throne. All he had to do was keep Thor safe in the interim. Odin had nearly killed him three times already before Frigga finally put an end to it. Five years. How had it been five years? Such a short time to gods, but it was dragging on and on with no end in sight.

Thor had hated being confined to their rooms when they were children, but Loki could always escape. That option was stripped from him now.

Loki could still hear the crumbling of stone from the last time Odin had come to see them. Thor had ran at him, screaming, and destroyed a five-thousand year old statue of Bor before Loki dragged him back.

Loki had hugged his brother close and laughed into his chest as Thor huffed and panted, ready to go back out and destroy anyone. Only a week ago, but it had been finite enough to mark the end. Their hope had died that day, and Loki was glad to see it.

—

The truth of Loki’s parentage was revealed shortly after the proclamation of his ascension as crown prince, but no one reacted to the news. Loki wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. Whispers grew in the back alleys and the shadows of the palace halls. Soon they would be more than he could track on his own.

Loki considered different plans as he tied the leather laces of his leggings shut. Thor lounged in bed, lazy and content. He’d rut against Loki’s ass three times that morning and pressed kisses to Loki’s shoulders when he came. As much as Loki wanted to let Thor have him, he always hesitated crossing that line. What would happen to them if he did? What did he hope would happen? That Thor would just spontaneously become lucid? Would it be more akin to an animal with his brother’s face fucking him sloppy?

He watched Thor in the mirror and sighed. None of these questions would have answers until he gave in, so he would need to content himself with his ignorance. It wasn’t a question of if anymore. Maybe it never was.

Thor was looking at him when he turned around, a smile on his lips. There was a level of clarity in his eyes that made Loki want to stay, but Odin bade that as crown prince he needed to resume his work of learning to govern. That required council meetings.

No incidents of deadly violence had occurred since the first in the observatory. The outburst at Odin had only caused cosmetic damage in the palace. Loki had been doing what he promised to do. Thor was stable and calm during the day, and at night he was peaceful if a little energetic with his lusts.

But he’d never been alone since Loki woke up in the clearing.

“Thor,” Loki started, “I’m going to leave.”

Thor frowned.

“I’ll be back in a few hours and we’ll eat supper together, alright?” He hoped Thor understood.

Thor sat up in bed and looked Loki up and down, but didn’t move aside from that. Loki swallowed and turned away. He made his way to his doors and tried to banish the dread pooling in his gut. Something awful was going to happen if he left, but he had no choice.

He opened the door and locked it behind him, reinforcing his spells as the guards shifted on their feet. Loki shared their trepidation, but his job as their prince was to reassure them, so he nodded his head to them and made his way to the council chambers with the heels of his boots clicking on the stone. Could Thor hear his steps?

Loki didn’t look at anyone as he walked through the halls. He had to admit that it was nice to see a different part of the palace after years in isolation. If he had time, he would go to the library and pick out his own books rather than having the maids fetch them for him.

The doors were opened for him as he approached, and he smiled to the guards as he entered. Odin nodded in greeting and gestured for Loki to sit at his right side. Loki approached, but stopped as he grabbed the back of the chair. This was Thor’s seat. When they’d first been invited to a meeting together Thor had been on Odin’s right, and Loki on Odin’s left. Now there was no chair to the left. Just an empty space with tracks in the wood floor from where Loki had repeatedly scooted his chair while still sitting in it.

Odin raised an eyebrow and Loki forced himself to pull the chair out and sit down, ignoring the looks cast his way by the nobility in attendance.

The meeting was sure to be simple, and would likely only take three hours, if even that. Better than the five or more they usually ran. Most of the discussion was plans for Loki to be presented as a man and the new crown prince, a more formal affair than the simple speech Odin gave a few weeks ago.

No one objected or mentioned his parentage. No one tried to make a dig about inviting a Jotnar delegation. They just made their plans and either agreed or disagreed about who to invite or what food to serve. Was this respect? Was this what it was like to be valued?

Nearly an hour into the meeting and Loki had even contributed to the discussion. Lord Eriksen had suggested inviting the Alfish scholars, and had asked Loki’s opinion since it was his day. He’d always liked Lord Eriksen, and he appreciated the thought shown in the suggestion. Of all the councilors in attendance, Lord Eriksen was the only who didn’t surprise Loki with his respect.

The Lord was very handsome with a full head of dark hair and dark eyes to match with wrinkles just starting to set in around the corners. He looked like a man who spent a great deal of time smiling. The history of his house was rich and gave him good standing among those seated. He was a bit older than Loki and Thor, and a very accomplished warrior. Thor had never seemed very fond of him, though Loki wasn’t sure why. It seemed to him that they’d have made good friends.

Lord Eriksen spoke with his hands, and Loki found he liked how expressive it was. “Because you take after you mother, my Prince, we should also remember to invite the Vanir monks. Even if they don’t come, they’re sure to send a handsome gift for you, highness.”

Loki smiled and nodded. “I agree, my Lord. Do you have any objection, Allfather?”

Odin opened his mouth, the look on his face a mild one, sure to guarantee agreement, but whatever he was going to say was cut short by a crack of thunder and a distant scream.

Loki shot out of his chair so fast it fell over. “Thor!”

He darted to the doors, slammed them open and ran through the halls. People were stopped, gaping at the dark clouds gathering outside, some of them frozen in horror as screams began echoing. Loki weaved his way through them and ignored the shouts at his back.

As he rounded the corner to the main tower of the palace he almost ran into a maid as she fled. Blood stained her uniform.

Loki kept running, dodging servants and guards alike. He came to the end of his hall and stopped. Thor stood in the open, his bare shoulders heaving as he breathed. Blood dripped from his fingers, from his chin, from his hair. In one hand he held the head of a guard. Part of the man’s spine still hung free of his neck where Thor had ripped it off rather than cutting it.

“Thor, stop!” Loki’s voice trembled.

He walked through the blood that flowed across the floor in a river and watched the glowing light in his brother’s eyes die out at the sight of him. An hour. He’d been gone an hour and Thor had killed four people, their bodies lying in a circle at their feet. Three guards and a maid. The doors to their room were blown apart, scorch marks on the stone and smoke rising off of the wood. Inside Loki could see where Thor’s lightning had burned through the warding and destroyed it. Not even overpowered, but fully dismantled and destroyed the spells.

Thor was too powerful to leave alone, still too smart under his lack of control.

Loki looked Thor over and his eyes caught on a wide gash in Thor’s abdomen. The guards had attacked him. Who would be that suicidal? Why would they retaliate?

Odin.

Loki heard steps at the end of the hall and put his hand on Thor’s chest. He turned and met Odin’s eye, moved just enough for Odin to see the wound still bleeding on Thor’s stomach.

“Did you order them to use lethal force?” Loki asked.

Odin said nothing. He looked at the carnage, at the bodies and damage to the hall, at anything except his sons. Three lords stood at Odin’s back, Eriksen among them, and all of them ran pale at the scene.

“Tell me!” Loki yelled. “Did you know that this would happen? Did you know I wouldn’t be able to leave him?”

Odin sighed and rubbed his temple next to his eye patch.

“Loki—”

“No, no, enough from you. These guards and this innocent maid died because of you!” Loki didn’t care about the consequences, didn’t care about anything anymore because all it would’ve taken was one lucky swing from a guard in close quarters and Loki would have come back to his brother lying dead on the floor. “If I can’t leave him alone, then I won’t. I’ll fashion a muzzle and cuffs to restrain him since none of our existing magic will work.”

Loki looked to Lord Eriksen and saw a sadness in his his eyes.

“Postpone the ceremony, my Lord. No invitations shall be sent until I can control my brother. Unless you have an objection, father?” Loki spat the last word and pushed at Thor’s chest, keeping him at bay with one hand.

He hoped the council was paying attention to who held the power here.

Odin remained silent.

—

Loki hated the muzzle. He had been the one who forged and enchanted it, and he hated himself for the fact that it worked. That he had made this possible, for Thor to be chained like some common beast.

Thor was so docile, he sat quietly in front of the vanity as Loki slipped it on and clasped it shut. He was trusting and sweet when Loki cuffed his hands together. There was no chain between the cuffs, just a very short bar that connected them. It made Thor look like a prisoner instead of a prince. This was the only way that Thor could leave their apartment, though. It had taken a week to rebuild Loki’s doors, and another month to reinforce the seiðr that Thor had broken so easily.

That had been how Loki could even craft these devices, by looking at the way Thor destroyed his magic to see how best to counter it. With how quickly he’d had to make them he wasn’t sure how well they’d work to keep Thor bound. He could break the cuffs, surely, and the muzzle, too, if he was provoked. Loki hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

The ceremony to declare him a man and officially name him heir had been changed since the incident during the council meeting. Due to safety concerns, the invitations had instructed foreign governments to send gifts of tribute instead of representatives. If Thor killed someone because of some fit, Asgard wouldn’t be able to protect him from the consequences without paying heavy reparations or even going to war.

Only the council and select members of court had been invited to bear witness, but even their safety was not guaranteed. Loki held the collar he’d made in his hands and sighed. He swallowed down a wave of nausea and secured it at Thor’s throat. This wasn’t right. It just wasn’t, but he didn’t have a choice. Not yet. Not until he was king. Then he could free Thor.

Loki held the chain that connected to the collar. Thor didn’t look like he minded. His eyes were clear, some piece of him present. He looked up at Loki and smiled from behind the muzzle, the metal biting into his flesh as he did.

In a thousand years Loki couldn’t ever remember being truly remorseful for something, but he was now. Thor didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t his fault.

“I am so sorry, brother,” he whispered.

He’d never said these words with any sincerity in his life, and he wasn’t likely to ever do so again, but he had to say it. Just this once.

Thor hummed and smiled wider, and Loki leaned in before he could stop himself. He pressed his lips to the muzzle and rubbed his nose along Thor’s. His brother’s hands pressed against his stomach, callused fingers rubbing the scar on his belly through his clothing. It still ached sometimes, but never when Thor touched it.

He kissed the muzzle again and rested his forehead against Thor’s.

The warmth was nice, this intimacy felt so good, but he couldn’t dwell in this moment. They had somewhere to be. He pulled back and drew Thor to stand with him. Loki had been careful this morning, he’d even used his hands to bring Thor off twice to try and soothe him. Thor had loved it, he’d looked so happy.

Loki’s entire life had revolved around Thor when they were younger, but never like this. He held Thor’s leash in his hands and knew that he would never know a single day of solitude for the rest of his life. He was Thor’s keeper now and forever.

Thor hadn’t stopped smiling.

Loki sighed and headed for the doors. They were open already, three unarmed guards waiting outside. If something went wrong they all knew that no guard or weapon in any realm could stop Thor. Only Loki.

There was light music as they approached the feasting hall and quiet, murmured conversations. The music kept going when they entered, but it played through a sudden, vacuous silence. A void filled the space between each person, as though all mirth had been sucked out of the air at the first fight of Thor.

Loki felt resistance from the leash and turned to see Thor’s eyes darting from person to person. He was nervous, but not angry. Fear was probably more dangerous than rage.

Odin cleared his throat and drew everyone’s attention, Thor’s included. His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. The last attempt at restoring Thor to what he used to be was over a year ago now, but it had been the most brutal. Loki had slipped to his true skin and injured over a dozen people fighting his way to his brother. Their father had shown himself content to allow Thor to die a painful death, and even if Thor wasn’t lucid, he understood that. The only thing that had saved Thor was the fact that as powerful as Odin was, Loki was his match. No one had repaired the statue of Bor that Thor destroyed when Odin came to them again after that day. Loki hoped it was a reminder.

He tucked a stray braid behind Thor’s ear and caught his brother’s attention. Thor’s shoulders dropped, tension bleeding out of him.

“He’s not going to harm you, Thor,” Loki whispered.

Thor looked back to Odin, then to Frigga, then to Loki. He nodded and allowed Loki to lead him to the throne. They stood together at Odin’s right side. This was supposed to be a joyous day, but the crowd and the mood reminded Loki of a beggar’s funeral.

Odin stood and held his hands wide, the music slowed to a stop, and in the silence Odin’s voice boomed. “Thank you all for coming to this happy occasion. On this day I present my youngest son, Loki Odinson, to you all as an adult, and also as your future king. I adopted Loki at the end of the war with Jotunheim because I knew we could unite our realms. He has turned out to be a very wise and clever prince, and I know he will be a good king.”

Loki’s hands shook, but he kept a neutral smile on his face. He couldn’t concentrate enough to tell if Odin was speaking the truth, but it hardly mattered. History would remember these words.

Odin swept a hand toward Loki and Thor. “I don’t often repeat myself, but it needs to be restated: he has proven himself strong and honorable in taking care of his brother since Thor fell ill more than five years ago. There is a depth of caring in him that brings me pride, and I am glad to call him my son. As much as I love him,” Loki’s knees almost buckled, “I know that you will all love him even more.”

He looked at his mother and saw a soft, genuine smile on her face. Was this the truth then? Did Odin mean everything he spoke after the centuries of treating Loki like he was nothing? How could a father be so cruel and then speak of love? How could he try again and again to take away the person Loki loved most?

Loki strangled his emotions and shoved them down, locked them away, and after a deep breath his eyes remained dry and his smile hadn’t faltered. This was his duty.

There were young nobles in the crowd. People Loki’s own age, people he remembered from classes and training that he hadn’t seen in too long. They were all adults now, and one of the women looked to be pregnant. Loki was still a virgin. Not that it mattered, he supposed, but keeping a constant watch on his brother hadn’t left room for socializing.

Was his fate to become Asgard’s king and then find a princess who didn’t mind the threat of imminent death if Thor didn’t like how she moved toward the man who was supposed to be her husband? No. Loki couldn’t do that. Maybe that was why Odin kept trying to kill Thor.

Odin turned to him and Loki realized he’d missed the last part of the speech, but he smiled like he’d listened and took slow steps forward to his father’s side. Thor moved with him, his body taut and stiff as he moved, his eyes off toward the crowd with a tunnel-vision look narrowing them. They didn’t have much longer. This was the largest group of people Thor had ever been in since their return from the woods.

Loki smiled to his people and reached over to rub a soothing hand down his brother’s arm.

“Traitor!” A voice shouted.

Loki froze and tried to find the source of the voice. Thor hadn’t killed anyone yet, but that could change quickly.

“You Jotnar bitch! You poisoned our prince and now you steal his birthright!” The voice belonged to a very broad-chested warrior with fair hair and fair eyes. The Asgardian ideal, much like Thor.

He ran forward, dodging the Einherjar with practiced moves, familiar ones. Loki’s blood ran cold. This man was a former Einherjar. One of the men who’d greeted them in the observatory. Four soldiers survived that day, and three had resigned their posts. Loki knew this one. Angry, vengeful.

Loki took a running step toward the hallway and pulled on Thor’s leash, but Thor wouldn’t move. He snarled from behind the muzzle and lunged at the warrior heading toward them. Loki dug his heels in and leaned back, using his own weight to counter Thor’s strength. If ever being a giant could be to his benefit, it would be now.

Sif dashed through the crowd and met the man’s sword. The Warriors Three were at her back and Loki felt relief at the sight. They easily disarmed him and were taking him into custody.

Then the chain connected to Thor’s collar snapped.

Loki fell to the ground and listened to the chain hitting the stone, slack and useless. Thor lifted his hands into the air and Loki watched in horror as Mjolnir flew into his grasp.

Loki used seiðr to rip Thor’s friends back, throwing them too roughly as he pulled them away from the object of Thor’s rage. Their bodies rolled across the stone, their weapons clattered. Lightning filled the hall a moment later and underneath the thunder Loki heard terrified screams. Everyone was fleeing. The woman he saw earlier held her stomach as she ran, tears streaming down her face. He ran through the storm and rounded on his brother, grabbing Thor by the shoulders. The deed was already done. His foot slipped on the stone and without looking he knew he’d stepped in a puddle of blood. Something else crunched under his heel. Bone.

Thor’s face was splashed with gore, and Loki could hear Mjolnir’s head dripping. He didn’t look at the body. He couldn’t.

He grabbed Thor’s face by the muzzle and forced Thor to meet his eyes. Thor growled and leaned in too close, nuzzled his cheek and smeared blood on him. If anyone looked closely enough they’d be able to see Thor was hard. Loki had never told a single soul about what he did to keep Thor calm every day, and clearly no one had cared to look.

Loki pulled Thor away by the bar connecting his cuffs and ignored their father yelling after them. He ran and ran with Thor behind him, his feet pounding against the floor and his heartbeat almost deafening in his ears until he was safely in his bedroom with the doors locked. Odin’s voice came through the door not even a second later, still yelling. The wards glowed as Odin tested them, and Loki poured his power into making them stronger. The network blinked as Odin nearly broke one of the wards, and Loki doubled down and locked them tighter.

Smoke filled the air as the magic burned the wood and Loki could see in his peripheral vision that his skin had turned blue.

“I saw, Loki, I saw the depth of his sickness!” Odin shouted.

Loki grabbed Thor’s forearm and grit his teeth. Sickness. Of course that was what Odin would see. Not the love, not the desire, just another expression of what he labeled an illness to preserve his own sanity against the truth of what Thor had become.

The shouting stopped. Frigga’s voice replaced Odin’s, soft and calm. She spoke so gently that Loki couldn’t understand what she said, but knew she had to be talking Odin down. Loki prayed, really prayed with the fervor of his forgotten childhood that his mother would succeed. Over her words he could hear Odin’s growling and yelling in reply.

They were not taking Thor. If Loki had to commit regicide and become king by the morning, so be it. No one was taking his brother from him.

Loki used the reprieve to reach over and unclasp Thor’s restraints. Thor stared at the door the entire time and didn’t move as Loki freed him. Mjolnir dripped a puddle on Loki’s carpet. Deep, violent red. The blood of a man who’d sought to kill him and couldn’t even make it close enough to see the whites of Loki’s eyes.

A note slid in under the door and Loki called it to him with a flick of his finger. His mother’s efficient, neat script covered the page.

“Protect him,” the note read.

Loki smiled and snapped his fingers to burn the paper and destroy the evidence. She understood. They had one ally, the best.

The hall went quiet, the only sound the fading steps of their parents walking away. Loki sighed and pulled on Thor’s arm. His brother resisted for only a moment, then relented and allowed Loki to guide him to the baths. Thor dropped Mjolnir and cracked the tile, then looked down and frowned at it. He wasn’t completely gone, then.

Loki undressed them both and drew a bath hot enough to scald. Thor was still hard when they slipped into the water, and gave a low groan as he sat down. The tub was massive, more than big enough for the two of them. They faced each other in the tub, Loki’s legs over Thor’s and his feet pressed to Thor’s stomach. He poked Thor’s chest with his big toe and glanced down at his brother’s erection.

“Are you going to take care of it?” Loki asked.

Thor frowned at him.

Loki laughed and changed position so he was kneeling between Thor’s legs. The water lapped at the bottom of his chest, some of it splashing out over the edge of the tub. Thor sank further in and grinned at him.

“Of course,” Loki sighed with a smile, “you like it better when I handle it, don’t you?”

Thor nodded.

Sometimes he was like this. He couldn’t speak, but he still responded. Loki had never seen him in this state after losing himself like he had in the throne room. Maybe it was actually being able to kill the man that threatened Loki. It didn’t really matter, Loki didn’t much care. What he cared about was Thor. The brother who loved and protected him.

Loki used a damp cloth to clean Thor’s face of the blood splatter, then his own of the smear Thor had nuzzled onto him, then dropped it onto the floor. Thor watched him the entire time. His eyes grew clearer with every breath, intent returning to them rather than simple instinct.

He angled his hips up and moaned quietly when Loki grabbed his dick. It jumped and throbbed, always so sensitive whenever Loki used his hands. If someone was watching them now then they were going to get an eye full.

Thor groaned loud and unrestrained as Loki worked him over with deft fingers and a sure grip. Loki used his other hand to cup Thor’s balls and massage them.

“How do these always feel so heavy and full with how much you cum? Do you just need me that badly?” Loki teased.

Thor smirked. “Yes.”

Loki’s hand only faltered for a moment. “There you are, brother.”

“It feels good, Loki,” Thor moaned.

“I miss your voice,” Loki admitted before he could stop himself.

Thor made a soft noise and met Loki’s eye. “I do, too.”

Loki slowed his hand and teased Thor’s foreskin. “How are you so calm right now?”

“He can’t hurt you,” Thor said, “and they can’t hurt me.”

A slow, vicious smile spread across Loki’s lips. He could see it reflected in Thor’s eyes and didn’t mind how crazed it made him look.

Loki leaned in and bumped his nose against Thor’s. “That’s right. You’ll protect me and I’ll protect you. Just like always.”

Thor moaned and thrust his hips into Loki’s hand. “Safe.”

That was it. That was the key to Thor’s lucidity.

“Yes, yes, safe.” Loki laughed as he spoke.

Thor came with a deep growl in his chest. Loki looked down to watch Thor’s cum shoot into the water and disperse in a milky white cloud. A possessive, dirty part him wanted to let it stay, to let it dry, to wear Thor on his skin.

He sat on his heels and batted Thor’s hand away when he tried to reciprocate.

“Why can’t I touch you?” Thor asked.

Loki leaned in and kissed his brother’s lips, savored the gentle, happy sound it earned, then pulled back to see Thor slip away from him again.

He drained the tub and refilled it, and washed Thor’s hair in silence.

—

Odin was delaying the coronation on purpose. Loki knew it. Frigga knew it. He was biding his time and making excuse after excuse not to pass the crown and the great staff Gungnir. If he kept waiting then the crown would to fall to Loki when Odin went into his Odinsleep. He’d been putting it off for too long, ten years since Loki was presented. No time at all, really, but each year that the sleep was overdue taxed Odin heavier and heavier. If he fell into the sleep today, Loki would be king for decades before Odin woke again.

If he’d thought he didn’t have a social life before, taking over as king would surely kill whatever was left.

Loki loved his brother. He did. Thor had been his world for longer than he could remember, and over the last few short years he was Thor’s. But there was a price for that.

As many times as Thor had rut against him, had cum from his hands, had held him and painted him with release, they’d never fucked. Loki had never taken someone, nor taken them inside his body.

Need was such a strange thing, and this one even more so because he was finding that he couldn’t control it. In the midst of his studies his mind would wander and play until he was hard and frustrated. Jacking off alone in the baths wasn’t good enough. Creating an illusion would be easy enough, but he’d have to make it look like someone.

Maybe—

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. He stood from his desk and went to the door, opening it himself. Lord Eriksen stood on the other side, dressed in a well-fitting tunic and leather trousers. A smile lifted Loki’s lips as he stepped aside and gestured for the lord to enter. The door clicked shut and the tension in the room doubled.

Thor stood in front of the window opposite Loki’s doors, and to his credit Lord Eriksen wasn’t openly staring.

Loki stepped between them and caught the lord’s attention. “I wasn’t expecting you, my lord.”

Eriksen laughed and looked at the floor for a moment, then back up to Loki. “Yes, well, I couldn’t actually convince any of my attendants or staff to come deliver a request for an audience to you, highness.”

Loki forced a smile and shook his head. “No need, come.”

He walked into his office and didn’t even have to look to know that Thor followed. This was dangerous. Exceptionally. If he were a good person he’d have kept Eriksen outside and arranged a meeting elsewhere, but Loki wasn’t a good person.

Eriksen went to the bookshelves and read a few of the spines, pausing on a section of historical texts. Some of Loki’s favorites.

“How can I be of service, my lord?” Loki asked.

Eriksen cleared his throat and Loki caught a bit of a blush rising on his cheeks.

“I beg your pardon if this is forward, or unwelcome, but I thought you may be able to use some company, my prince,” he replied.

Loki’s stomach flipped and he was glad his tunic was long enough to cover his groin, otherwise he’d end up giving himself away too quickly.

“Did you, my lord?” He arched a brow and watched the esteemed warrior in front of him shift from one foot to the other.

A sideways grin curled on Eriksen’s lips. “I did. If that’s alright.”

“Your wife doesn’t mind you coming here? It’s not the safest place in the palace.” Loki tilted his head and let his hair fall away, exposing his throat.

Eriksen took two very slow steps forward, his eyes darting to Thor in the corner of the room as he did. “I’m not actually married, my prince. If I were, I wouldn’t be taking a wife.”

Loki knew that, but there was something about hearing it that helped fuel the heat pooling in his stomach.

“I can’t imagine how you’ve remained unwed all these centuries.” Loki grasped the edge of his desk tight and willed himself to keep still.

Thor’s eyes on him were heavy. Red was creeping into Thor’s spirit.

Eriksen took another step forward, close enough that he was within arm’s reach. He looked at Loki’s lips, at Loki’s throat, then back into Loki’s eyes. “Well, it’s not for lack of offers, if it makes you feel better.”

Loki spread his legs a bit, just enough. Eriksen took a deep breath and Loki saw the muscle in his jaw bulge. An hour. He could spare an hour.

Eriksen’s hand brushed against his stomach and Loki gasped and angled his hips forward. The lord grinned and let his hand wander further down.

Loki heard Thor’s heavy steps, but he was too slow in pushing Eriksen away. Thor lifted the lord into the air by the throat, sparks forming around his eyes and tendrils of lightning rolling over his skin.

“Thor, stop!” Loki grabbed his brother’s shoulder and pulled, but Thor was immovable.

Eriksen’s face was turning red, but he had the sense not to lash out against Thor.

Loki squeezed into the space between Thor and the kindly lord and grabbed his brother’s face. Thor’s eyes snapped to him, and Loki’s heart tripped when he saw how clear they were, how hurt. He frowned and tucked a lock of hair behind Thor’s ear.

“Drop him, Thor,” Loki asked softly.

Eriksen hit the ground a moment later. His coughs rattled and wheezed, his throat would be bruised and his voice hoarse for days. Loki stayed were he was, made sure Thor’s focus stayed on him. If Thor wanted to kill Eriksen Loki wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop it. Thor’s power was unpredictable and sometimes stronger than his.

“My lord it would be wise to take your leave,” Loki instructed.

Eriksen stood and ambled to the door. Loki could see his blurred form in his periphery, but didn’t dare look at him directly.

“He does listen to you, then?” Eriksen asked, the words rough and raw.

Loki’s hand tightened on Thor’s jaw. “Mostly.”

Eriksen left with quick steps, and in the silence following his departure Loki found himself frozen. Thor was breathing heavily and his eyes grew wet. A subtle trembling broke out across his body. Was he restraining himself? Did he want to force himself on Loki?

If he did, would Loki be able to stop it? Would he want to?

The thought of his brother raping him wasn’t a pleasant one, it wasn’t a fantasy he’d ever had, or something he’d ever considered could actually happen. Thor always listened to him, always respected that Loki didn’t want to be touched. Loki watched tears spill down Thor’s face and realized how lucky he was. It was Thor’s love that protected him, not Thor’s rage. The same love that had turned Thor into this new version of himself was the same love that kept Thor in check.

It wasn’t Loki that controlled Thor at all, it was a choice on Thor’s part. Some bit of him that nothing could erase or corrupt. He loved Loki.

“Come here, Thor,” Loki whispered.

Thor wrapped his arms around Loki’s body and squeezed him too tight, but it was okay. Loki rubbed Thor’s scalp with his fingers and found he liked the pressure of Thor holding him like this.

Loki pressed a kiss to Thor’s ear and knew that when the time came, Thor would have him.

—

One week after Thor attacked Lord Eriksen the Allfather finally saw fit to announce Loki’s coronation as king. Two years. Barely enough time to finish up any lingering projects and ensure a stable transition of power, but it would have to do.

Thor was better since the incident, gentler. Loki changed the way he behaved when Thor needed him. No longer just a quiet vessel for Thor’s pleasure, he would talk to Thor, encourage him, praise him when he was particularly beautiful. Words he’d always saved for Thor’s more lucid moments flowed freely from his lips.

The sun beat down on them as they walked through the garden. Being so open to Thor’s affections had made him calm enough that they could leave the room for a while. Beyond being pleasant, it was necessary to have Thor around people again. When he was king he would need Thor by his side.

Loki stopped them in front of a raised flower bed in the garden center and smiled to himself as he remembered that morning. Thor on top of him, rutting against his stomach, moaning and laughing as Loki kissed his throat and rubbed his sides.

Thor’s cum had landed on his face, and he’d wanted so badly to taste it, but Thor had beat him to it. Loki had throbbed while Thor licked him clean and kissed him everywhere. He’d been so grateful, so excited to have Loki responding to him. Fear had kept Loki restrained before. The fear it would make Thor worse, or that despite what he knew this wasn’t really Thor, the fear of what it would make him if he allowed his own brother to take him in such a way. That fear had no place in his life anymore.

Now he just needed to wait until he was king. Odin kept a meticulous eye on them, and Loki hadn’t yet found a way to weave a spell to hide them completely. He didn’t know if Odin watched them all the time, if he saw what they did in the privacy of Loki’s bed, but Loki couldn’t hide them constantly; he needed new spells. He would not suffer to have Thor taken from him.

A warm breeze blew over them and stirred the flowers. The bed was filled with a wide variety of blooms to mimic the shifting colors of the bifrost. When they swayed in the wind they made for a good recreation.

Loki loved the gardens, and it was nice to be able to take Thor outside again. He was as docile as a lamb, but even still a pack of guards flocked after them, their every step met.

Thor reached out with cuffed hands and plucked a flower off its stem, his eyes bright when he offered it to Loki. A soft laugh shook Loki’s shoulders as he accepted the gift. Even like this, Thor still held his sentiment close.

His brother stiffened and whipped around to face an approaching messenger who’d been walking too briskly toward them down the path. The young woman startled and backtracked quick enough that she kicked up dust and gravel under her feet. Loki grabbed Thor’s shoulder and pulled him back with a sigh.

Thor frowned at him from behind the muzzle and Loki leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“We’re safe, Thor,” he promised.

Thor’s breathing went ragged, and his hands clenched and unclenched. Time to leave. Loki grabbed Thor’s forearm, ready to lead him out of the gardens.

The sound of a sword unsheathing rang in the air and Loki closed his eyes.

He clenched his teeth and tightened his grip on Thor’s arm. “Damn it.”

The captain of the group yelled for the weapons to be stayed and Loki was grateful for it, but it was too late. Thor ran toward the guards and Loki only managed to hold him back. This chain had been reinforced with seiðr and he was reasonably confident it wouldn’t break.

He yanked on it, heard Thor cough and choke, but couldn’t let up. Thor fell to his knees and Loki ran for him and grabbed him by the bar between his cuffs and began pulling him back toward the palace. Everyone stared and Loki bit back the shame that was coiling in his gut. This was not how princes behaved. Neither him nor his brother, but it was out of his control. Everything was out of his control. They’d been outside for less than half an hour.

After a few steps Loki managed to rip Thor up from the ground and drag him back inside. The crowds in the halls gave them a wide berth, but he still had to keep Thor from attacking people. Murmurs followed them, the word prince in a mocking tone, the word beast in a fearful one.

The guards opened the doors for them as they approached and Loki shoved Thor inside. Loki threw the chain leash down and pushed Thor so hard he nearly fell.

“Can I have nothing?” Loki yelled. “No life? No socialization? Am I going to spend the rest of my days baby sitting you and making sure you don’t kill people? How can I be king like this?”

Loki realized the flower was crushed in his hand. He used magic to restore it and held it up for Thor to see.

“You do this, you give me these little moments where I think you’re alright, and then a second later it’s like a switch has been flipped and you’re out of control!” Loki felt tears sting his eyes and blinked them back, turned away from Thor’s stricken face. “You’ve always been my first priority, always on my mind, always the only person I really cared about, but now I don’t have a choice. Because it’s my fault this happened, so I have to take care of you.”

Loki ran a hand into his hair and kept his back to his brother. “There are so many things that I want to do every day but I can’t leave you alone for an hour because the last time I did you killed four people. And you’re still so clever, you know the difference between what’s really me and what’s an illusion. This is impossible, I can’t… gods.”

A rough sob caught his attention and he turned around, his anger and pain falling away in an instant when he saw his brother curling in on himself as he stood, still restrained in the muzzle and cuffs Loki had made. Tears fell freely down Thor’s face and he sniffed, hard, clearly unable to breathe properly with his mouth covered.

Somewhere along the line, when he began wallowing in his pain, Loki had forgotten that Thor had lost so much more than he had. His autonomy, his personhood. Everything. Thor had lost everything because of one moment that Loki could never take back, and all the decisions he’d made out of spite after. He did this. So he did have to live with it.

That wasn’t Thor’s fault. It was his.

He walked up to Thor and clenched his jaw against the aching of his heart as Thor didn’t move. Thor would just let him do whatever. This wondrous, powerful man who could level a battlefield, and he shed tears over Loki’s words.

Loki snapped his fingers and let the restraints all fall away. They were still so young. Too young to lose what they’d lost.

“Come here,” Loki pulled Thor’s shoulder and sighed as Thor wrapped him in a crushing hug.

There was a murmur pressed into his neck, Thor’s tears hot against his skin.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Thor whispered over and over in a manic chant.

Loki hugged his brother back and let his own tears fall. “I’m sorry, too, Thor.”

The second time in his life he’d spoken those words and meant it, and both times he was saying them to Thor. He secreted the flower away into a pocket dimension and pressed a kiss to Thor’s neck. His brother calmed with it, the crying ending with a few sniffs.

Loki nuzzled Thor’s hairline and smiled when Thor leaned into his touch.

“I love you, Thor,” he whispered.

Thor kissed his jaw and took a slow breath that tickled his ear. “I’m sorry.”

Loki frowned and pulled back enough to look Thor in the eye. “Enough of that. Tell me you love me.”

A bright little spark flashed in Thor’s eyes and he smiled for a moment.

Thor pressed their foreheads together and hummed. “I love you, Loki.”

Loki realized he hadn’t heard Thor say those words in decades. He memorized the shape of them in the air, memorized the color of Thor’s spirit as he spoke them, and pressed a kiss to his brother’s lips.

—

Weeks. Mere weeks until Loki was crowned king, and he’d finally perfected the spell to hide himself and Thor both from the sight of anyone and anything that wanted to look.

For the last two years he hadn’t had a single moment of free time. If he wasn’t learning and relearning how to govern and making nice with the council and foreign leaders, he was managing Thor, or he was crafting the spell. Now he could relax, he could take what he’d always wanted and had always wanted him back.

Thor sat sprawled out in Loki’s receiving room, lounging on a wide couch that faced the balcony. Sunlight was softened by thin curtains, Thor’s face lit in golden beauty and his eyes glowing with it. Wind disturbed his hair and Loki watched as he closed his eyes and a smile lifted his lips. He hadn’t flown in years. Maybe he missed it. He probably missed quite a lot.

A theory had unfolded in Loki’s mind, evidence building slowly in little incidents that by themselves meant nothing, but had added up into something he couldn’t ignore. He wanted to test his theory now.

Thor’s eyes opened when Loki blocked the sunlight. His smile went wider, his teeth showing just a bit. Loki came forward and watched heat fill Thor’s eyes. It wasn’t just the rage or grief. All of Thor’s emotions were heightened, their intensity too much for him to properly control. Loki sat sideways in his brother’s lap and let his nightgown slip off of his shoulder. The silk was light and airy, something that Thor could tear apart with a thought.

He pressed a kiss to Thor’s lips and hummed happily when it was returned. Thor’s arms wrapped around him and pulled him close until the beating of Thor’s heart was nearly audible under the sounds of their kisses. Heavy, greedy hands dragged over his body, rubbed the silk that covered his skin and made him feel like a true prince for the first time in his life.

Thor hesitated at his hip, then continued down to his ass. Normally Loki would redirect him, but this time he simply lifted himself up to give Thor’s hand room. A rough, animalistic growl tore from Thor’s throat and Loki shuddered at hearing it.

Loki was hard already from nothing but these brief touches and he could feel Thor pressing against his ass, his desire as strong as always, constant. The depth of his need and his love was the foundation of Loki’s life and would continue to be the cornerstone of his future. They were meant for each other from the beginning, and Loki was foolish for not realizing that sooner, for not allowing himself this joy and pleasure.

The sound of ripping fabric made him smile and break their kiss as Thor tore the silk from the top half of his body. Thor groped his chest hard enough to bruise and nibbled a path from his jaw to his neck. The sting of Thor’s teeth made Loki think Thor wanted more, wanted to taste him more deeply, to mark him. He wanted that, too, wanted to be changed by Thor the way he’d allowed his brother to be changed. They could transform each other and create something new as their souls connected.

He hissed against the sting of Thor sucking on his neck, drawing blood to the surface in what would surely be a very beautiful claim. Thor’s fingers dipped into his crack and rubbed his hole through the silk, pressed up into him and soaked the already ruined garment with the wetness of leftover oil from where Loki already opened himself.

Thor panted and he ripped the gown the rest of the way until Loki was sitting on scraps, naked and exposed. He tilted his head to give Thor more room to mark his neck. The pain made the pleasure of Thor’s touch brighter. Two thick fingers slid into him and spread him open. They filled him more than his own fingers had, sinking in until the heel of Thor’s hand was pressing right behind his balls.

“Oh, fuck, Thor.” He grabbed Thor’s shoulders and rocked his hips into the motion of Thor’s hand.

Thor pushed up against his ass, the thick line of his cock a solid promise that he would make Loki complete and leave him loose.

“Mine,” Thor growled.

Loki smiled and gave himself over to his brother’s need. Thor’s fingers found something inside him that sent fire rolling over his skin. He gasped and whimpered as his cock leaked and pressure built in his gut. A vicious sound rumbled in Thor’s chest and he rubbed the spot over and over, the pleasure so intense it was nearly painful. Loki’s toes curled and his eyes shut tight. He was being turned inside out, taken apart by his brother’s touch.

Thor added a third finger and Loki went rigid, breath locked in his chest, spine arching as he sobbed and came all over them both. His body fell limp, sagging into Thor who bit his shoulder and shoved his fingers into Loki as far as they could go. He clenched on them and wanted more, needed in a way he’d never felt. Cum dripped down Thor’s front, soaking into the fabric of his tunic. They both looked at it, watched the creamy white seep into dark red and leave it wet and discolored.

Their eyes met and Loki’s heart stopped. Thor’s eyes were glowing. The veins under his skin gave off their own light, his power was surgining from within. Loki looked into Thor, looked at his soul and saw the threads glowing in brilliant silver and white. No red to be found, no chaotic trembling or instability.

He was calm.

Loki smiled and pressed his forehead to Thor’s, their mouths open, just breathing into each other before Thor gently licked his bottom lip and then sucked on it. Thor began thrusting his fingers again, softly, just enough that Loki wouldn’t be hurt with how sensitive he was.

He sighed and let Thor take whatever he wanted. Peace settled into his heart to know he was so loved and so desired, to have proof of his importance to Thor. His pleasure was healing Thor’s soul.

Thor grunted and bucked his hips up to push his cock against Loki’s ass and thigh. Loki moaned and pulled his head back, exposing the column of his throat to his brother. He remembered seeing Thor ripping open a bandit’s throat with his teeth and let out a slow breath as Thor sucked hard on his skin. There were sure to be marks all over him by the time Thor was done, probably as much bruise as skin.

Soft, steady heat was building inside him again. If he didn’t move things along Thor would probably be content to finger him for hours.

“Brother,” Loki purred.

Thor trembled under him. “Yes?”

A loving ache filled Loki’s chest. Thor was here with him. Loki was bringing his brother back, restoring pieces of Thor that had been lost to pain for too long.

“What do you want?” He asked.

Thor exhaled sharply and nuzzled the apple of his throat. “I want to be inside you, Loki. I want to feel you. Brother, please.”

Loki soothed Thor with a soft noise and reached up to pet his hair. “I’ve denied you for too long.”

Thor groaned and pulled his fingers free. Their absence made Loki bite his lip, the emptiness keen and unwanted. Thor slid an arm under Loki’s knees and stood swiftly, the gown he’d destroyed fluttering to the floor and forgotten as he took bounding steps to Loki’s bed.

Loki was set down with gentleness he hadn’t expected. Thor eased him onto the mattress like he was fragile. He scooted up the bed and laid down against the pillows.

Thor stayed where he was a moment, standing with his eyes still glowing as he looked at Loki’s body. Little tendrils of lightning reached out from Thor’s skin and danced, then disappeared. He was a true god, and he was Loki’s.

Thor ripped his own clothing as he removed it, his strength too great to be controlled. Loki lifted his legs into the air and spread them wide, sighing at the feeling of cool air on his abused hole. He wanted to know what he looked like, if he looked as decadent as he felt exposing himself like a silken whore. The proud length of Thor’s cock curved up toward his belly, the head purple as it peeked out of the foreskin. It made Loki’s mouth water, and he decided that later they would have to taste each other, but for now he was done waiting.

He arched his back and put his arms up on the pillow beside his head. Thor crawled over him as a predator, power radiating from him to tickle Loki’s skin. His heat settled into Loki’s muscles, wrapped around him and cradled him from within, made him moan and sink further into the sheets.

Thor reached between them and grabbed himself. He rubbed the head of his cock against Loki’s wet hole and held himself there, teasing. Loki smiled and laughed as Thor played with himself. They needed to do more of this, to feel more of each other, to have each other, to see one another as they were always meant to be seen. Loki leaned up and tugged Thor’s bottom lip with his teeth and swallowed down his brother’s moan when Thor kissed him. The head of Thor’s cock pressed against him and slid inside with no resistance, his body so eager and ready.

He groaned loud and unashamed as Thor filled him. Thor was harder than Loki had ever felt, throbbing and twitching with every inch that slid in and filled him up. Loki body was Thor’s home, this was his duty as his brother’s king, as his brother’s protector, to take him like this and ease his rage and fury. More than duty, it was his privilege, his right.

Loki broke the kiss and panted against Thor’s lips. “You’re mine, Thor.”

Thor nodded and rolled his hips, the glide of their bodies joining so smooth, so natural. The pleasure lit Loki’s veins and burned inside him. He wanted to cum on Thor again, to let Thor feel what he did, how good he was.

Thor’s eyes slipped shut, the light glowing from within still visible behind his eyelids as it cast a spidery map of his veins. This power was a blessing. Loki squeezed Thor’s sides between his legs and smiled when Thor reached up and held his hands. Their fingers threaded together and Loki was almost frightened by how fulfilled he was from the intimacy. This was addicting, the way Thor was holding him down and keeping him pinned but took every chance to show the love underlying his desire.

Loki would always need this, and he understood so clearly in this moment that he always had. The easy, gentle rolling of Thor’s hips quickly turned and Loki’s voice trembled when Thor started to really fuck him. His body was so heavy on Loki’s, pressing down on him, stealing his breath until his lungs burned. All he could do was hold on while Thor’s fat cock spread him open and rubbed up on his sweet spot until tears filled his eyes.

“Gods, Thor, you’re going to make me cum,” Loki sobbed.

Thor growled and snapped his hips up so hard the headboard slammed against the wall. Loki felt like he was on fire. His cock was trapped between them, rubbing against the fat on Thor’s stomach and the muscle beneath.

“Loki,” Thor’s voice was so clear, so light, “thank you.”

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and felt tears run down into his hair. “Keep talking, Thor, please!”

Thor moaned and kissed one of the tear tracks. “I love you, Loki. You take such good care of me, brother. They wanted to kill me, but you wouldn’t let them, you’ve been so good to me, Loki, so sweet. And now you give me this, your body, your virginity. Loki, you’re perfect.”

Each word from Thor pushed him closer and closer. His cock felt overfull where it twitched between their bodies and his balls felt so heavy, ready to give Thor everything. Thor knew what he’d done to keep them together. Thor loved him, Thor wanted him, Thor knew, he knew—

“Oh, fuck!” Loki shook beneath Thor’s body as the bright pleasure inside him burst.

His eyes rolled up into his head and his legs slid even higher and opened wider. He felt like he was floating, euphoria flooding his blood until he was laughing with the scant breaths he could draw. Thor fucked him through it, growled his name over and over and squeezed his hands in a bruising grip.

Loki’s lips were curled on a smile he couldn’t hope to banish. He felt like a king now, no crown necessary.

Thor’s hips snapped up hard and stilled, a rough groan tearing from his throat as his cock twitched and jerked. Loki hummed his contentment and kissed the side of Thor’s face as he was filled.

Thor pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, and Loki blinked away more tears when he saw the perfect, wonderful blue he so adored. His brother’s soul was still transforming, still changing and evolving as the chaos and rage mingled in with the bright fire of Thor’s spirit. The lucidity wouldn’t last, not at this level, and there was no way to restore Thor to what he used to be, but Loki was fine with that. After everything, after all the suffering and the violence, Loki knew how to find his brother now. When they were joined they were both whole again.

An airy, boyish laugh fell from Thor’s lips and Loki matched it. Thor rested his forehead against Loki’s and rubbed their noses together.

“My king,” he whispered.

Loki rubbed Thor’s thumbs with his own and stroked Thor’s calves and thighs with his feet. No one could ever see Thor like this except him. Thor had become something beautiful and brutal and he was Loki’s. Only Loki’s.

—

**Epilogue**

There was very little fanfare for his coronation. The crown was passed from Odin’s head to his, the great staff Gungnir pressed into his hand, and the title of Allfather bestowed. Less than one-hundred people were in attendance. Loki looked at them all and remembered when he and Thor would talk about a crowd of thousands, tens of thousands, the whole of Asgard and all the other realms looking on. This was nothing like either of them had thought it could be.

Thor walked at his side in silence, only restrained by the muzzle. The cuffs and collar would never be used on Thor again, not while Loki was king. It had been Thor who’d picked up the muzzle with a devious look in his eyes. He spoke to Loki more and more, but only when they were alone, mostly he was inside Loki’s body. No one else got to hear his voice.

The crowds parted around them, schools of startled fish darting out of the way of a vicious predator. Thor’s friends watched from one side of the room as Loki took his brother toward a balcony. They looked like they mourned Thor still, as though he was dead and the man at Loki’s side was a ghost.

Sif bowed her to head respectfully and Loki smiled to her, but he didn’t stop.

Thor growled when a guard wandered too close and Loki bit the inside of his cheek as the man literally leapt away. Loki hadn’t even needed to restrain Thor, his brother hadn’t moved, simply made a noise. Maybe he’d outgrow the glee of watching people flee in terror from Thor. Probably not.

Sunset was beginning to approach, long shadows cast across over the glittering expanse of the capital as they approached the railing. The bifrost colors were beginning to glow to one side, and on the other rainbows were cast in the mist from the falls that cascaded down the mountains. Color all around, vibrant and perfect. Loki turned his back to it and faced his brother. Thor watched him, eyes bright with interest, but clouded by the familiar mask of feral instinct that always came back. He was so beautiful that Loki’s heart ached. What a sweet gift the fates had granted him.

Loki reached up and cradled the back of Thor’s neck, the gesture so familiar he wanted to call it reflex. Thor hummed and swayed closer to him. Need was a constant for Thor, his desires unending. If Loki let him, they’d be fucking all day and only stop long enough to eat.

He smiled and kissed Thor over the muzzle. Thor’s voice was muffled behind the metal covering his mouth, but Loki could still hear him. Loki would hear everything Thor said now that his words were so precious.

“Mine,” Thor told him.

Loki grinned and kissed the muzzle again, then once more and promised his brother, “yours.”

As long as he lived.

**Author's Note:**

> so this wasn't supposed to end up being 20k but here we are lol. i plotted this out in discord then never thought i'd write it, made [this post](http://cuddleslutloki.tumblr.com/post/181761557261) bc i was so sure. then i wrote it lmfao. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed, please comment and let me know what you think!


End file.
